This Innocence Is Brilliant

It has been a very tiring day. I sit on my recliner and in a jiffy I lose control of my eyelids. "You deserve a nap once in a while Mr.Successful",I murmur to myself while I rest my back and fall asleep.

I hear a faint noise, sounds like a shrill cry. For a light sleeper,thats all it takes to get whacked out of the dream world. I open my eyes in haste and see my son,still in his school uniform, sitting on the sofa next to me,teary eyed.

Without a second thought, I quickly lift him up and take him on my lap."what is the matter champ..?",I say,in a tone desperate to stop his tears." I lost the pencil mumma gave me yesterday" he says.I cannot help the smile that appears on my face instantly. And I get lost in thoughts.Memories of my childhood. I still remember every second of that incident.

I was about 3 and it was my first day in kindergarten. I was a playful kid. Yes,careless went hand in hand with playful. My mom had given me a pencil,ofcourse attached with a warning."You lose this pencil,and I am never buying you another one again". I remember leaving the pencil on the desk and leaving the class during recess,only to find it missing when I got back. I was on panic mode immediately. Despite searching everywhere, I could not find it. The only thing that ran in my head then were my mother's words. And that made things worse. The bell rang and school was over for the day. That meant i had to go home and face mom. I walked out of the school gate, her words.still ringing in my ears. Instantly the idea of getting a new pencil exactly like the one i lost filled up my mind. I ran to the pickup rickshaw ,threw my bag inside and ran back to a shop to get the pencil. I was too naive to get the idea of "money" into my head then.i went inside the shop and looked around for a pencil that looked exactly similar. Ifound one and in a second, I had a big grin on my face. But it didnt last long. The shopkeeper came up to me and said "5rs beta",and it hit me. I did not have any money.Getting back to my sad world, I began walking back to the rickshaw. I lifted my head while walking and saw a very old woman stuggling to cross the road. Though there were not many vehicles moving in the lane,she was too scared to cross it. I quickly forgot about the pencil and ran upto her. I held her hand and said "I will help you aunty,dont bescared". Step after step I walked with her and when we crossed the lane,the lady smiled and pulled my cheek and gave me a coin. A five rupee coin. But the pencil had skipped my mind then. The reward i got lifted me to cloud 9 and I ran back to the rickshaw and went home.

"Homework time", mom said. With a smile still plastered on my face, I began to dig my bag for the homework book. And the pencil came back to my mind. Nervousness struck,but i had to tell mom. There was no other option. I walked to mom and put my head down and in tears, I told her about the pencil. I pulled the coin out of my pocket and said "I will get another pencil tomorrow mumma and I will never lose it"."Where did you get that coin",she asked me. I told her about the old lady. As soon as she was done hearing, she lifted me up and kissed all over my face. I was surprised, naturally."You are not angry mumma?" i asked. "No baby,I am proud",she said and made me clutch the coin. "Dont ever lose this coin",she said and gave me another new pencil. And that was one of the most memorable days of my life.

 Yes,i still have that coin with me. I pull out my wallet and give the coin to my little one and make him clutch it just the way my mother did. "This is for you. Go get yourself a new pencil before mom gets to know", I say and kiss his cheek.His face lit up,just the way mine did.!

E= mc2 , The circle of life

Sitting down at the cafeteria table, enjoying the few seconds of free time I get each day, I was sunk into the most intriguing and perhaps the most life changing mathematical equations, the derivation of E=mc2 . As any agnostic person, I always believed the scientific version of things instead of the religious ones. It obviously went hand in hand that I worshipped the scientists who changed the human way of life, the human perception. My greatest inspiration, perhaps the greatest theoretical physicist of all time, Dr. Albert Einstein, taught the world to look at things from a different angle all together. He was responsible for, quite possibly, every relevant invention in the modern era. His greatest work, mass-energy equivalence, clearly ahead of its time, managed to intrigue me even a century after it was written. I kept looking into the papers I had, the ones that contained the derivation of mass-energy equation, almost every single day and not one day passed by where i was not surprised by the amount of genius in it. Every single day, i wished i could go back in time and witness the first time the derivation was made by the greatest genius.

I always knew that being a scientist at NASA would have huge perks someday. And before I could start thinking, the day was already there. The first ever time travelling machine had been built. A machine that could punch a worm-hole through the dimension and bend the phenomenon of space and time. A machine that could change the entire course of history. As the chief scientist, I got the opportunity to make a proposal as to how the time traveller should be used first, to the committee. Obviously, my proposal was to go back to 27thSeptember, 1905 and witness the first time mass-energy equation was put on paper. After weeks of discussions, I received a mail regarding the decision. My proposal had been accepted. And to make it better, I was nominated to be the first time traveller in the history of mankind. Any other person would be apprehensive to travel in such a perilous machine, but I was too overwhelmed about meeting my greatest inspiration to be bothered about the consequences of disturbing mother nature.

After over a year of simulation and testing, I was finally ready to witness the rewinding of time itself. I suited up and sat in the machine, adjusted the date to 26th September, 1905. “Remember, you will be zapped out in exactly 24 hours and also, do not resort to anything that could change the course of time”, my colleague cautioned me before the procedure began. I braced myself, gave the team a thumbs up and then the countdown began. “3, 2, 1 propulsion”, were the last words i heard before everything blacked out. It seemed like I was travelling through nothingness. It seemed like a surreal place where space and time did not exist. My body felt lifeless and I could not move a single muscle. I couldn't so much as twitch my face. After what seemed like hours, I felt a sudden shoot of acceleration and I could see light again. I was in Switzerland, but a different Switzerland. I quickly changed to an attire appropriate to the time. There were no roads, just pathways, people dressed up in formal attires, countable number of slow moving cars and peace. It felt like heaven, at-least fit all the descriptions of it. Green all over, the city looked bright and spacious. After struggling with the routes for a few hours, I managed to reach his house. Dr. Albert Einstein's residence, the place where history was made; and I was there to witness it. I tiptoed into the lawn and tried to get a peep inside the window. There was nobody inside. I stood there for hours without being observed, waiting to catch a glimpse of him. Suddenly I began to hear music. It was the violin sonatas of Mozart. I realized that it was him. It was Einstein playing his violin. Few more hours of waiting and i still could not catch a glimpse. I decided for once that I was running out of time and peeping through the window was not going to get me anywhere. I impersonated a publisher from ' Annalen der Physik', the scientific journal that published Einstein's Annus Mirabilis papers. I rang his doorbell and the door was answered by a woman. I recognized her as Mileva Maric, Einstein's first wife. I took off my hat and wished her and introduced myself. She welcomed me in, sat me down and poured me some tea. In a few minutes, the man arrived. I stood up and became mentally paralysed for a few seconds. My idol was standing before me and it was not a dream. He patted my shoulder and I got knocked back into my senses. I apologized and introduced myself. “Three papers you have given us already this year and the first two have been a roaring success among the readers and the scientists. I am sure you have received the news that your third paper was published today and I am here to inform you that the third was an even bigger success”, I said, thanks to all the knowledge I gathered from the internet over the years. He acknowledged with a simple nod and a smile. “Is there another paper you are working on currently?”, I asked with hesitance in my voice. He shook his head and said “no”! I was surprised. Did I get the date wrong? He should have been done with the derivation by now. The journal should have received his paper by tomorrow! What has changed? Did i disrupt the time-line when I travelled back? I asked myself a million questions in my head, still astonished at his answer. I fumbled on the table and almost fell down before standing up. I apologized again and shook his hand and left the house at once. I did not understand what had gone wrong. Only a few hours before I get zapped back to the present, I thought to myself. I kept walking thinking about the various permutations that could have resulted in this varied past. I realized that the whole course of time would change if the mass-energy equivalence would not be theorized. Bewildered, I kept walking endlessly till it was dark. I walked into a motel and spent the rest of the night thinking about the havoc this alternate past would cause.

I woke up in the morning, hoping that the man would have thought of something overnight. I hurried back to his house, waiting for him to get out. After an hour or so, I saw him walk out of the door and I began to follow him. I saw him stop at the post office. Was he posting his paper? But he told me that he was not working on any paper only yesterday. How could he have possible written the Most important equation in human history in just one night? Too many questions in my head. My attention was drawn towards the unmistakable yellow coloured paper in his pocket. My eyes opened up wide and I quickly checked my pockets for the papers that contained the derivation, the ones that I always carried with me. I could not find them. Before I could think of anything, I was zapped back to the present.

E=mc2 , the most important equation in the history of mankind. The equation that was out of its time. The equation that completed my circle of life.

Fear the demon or Fear, the demon?

Three years it has been since my life took a 'U' turn. Three years since I last got scared.

I remember the day as if it were only yesterday. I was a techie, working night shifts in a reputed firm, leading a normal, daily routine. Atleast that was what I thought was normal at that time. That day was no different from any other. My colleagues and I had a sort of tradition then. We always walked down to the cafe, in the adjoining lane, after finishing our shifts, to get some coffee time together, before our pick up vehicle arrived. As always, I got done with my shift at 4:30am, earlier than the others, and began to walk towards the cafe. It was pitch dark as usual, but since it was a daily routine, I had gotten used to the grave and spooky silence. I put on my headphones to help me with the silence and walked past the bus stop. That is when things fell out of the routine. I began to get this weird, insecure feeling that I was not alone in the street. I turned around and to my horror, I realized that I was not. I saw a man, with dirty, torn clothes and a horrifying face, not more than 25 yards away. He held his hand up as if he were calling out for me. I began to walk faster for reasons I don't know. I turned back once again, only to see that the distance between the man and me was getting smaller! He was following me and that thought was enough to scare the bejesus out of me. That was the most frightened I had ever been in my life. At this point, I began to run with all my might, without looking back. I reached the cafe, got in and shut the glass door behind me. Gasping away endlessly, I turned back to look through the glass door if the man was still there. But the street looked empty. There was no sign of him. My colleagues arrived soon after, but i did not tell them about the incident because I did not want to come across as a paranoid person. Trying to get the man's face out of my mind, I continued with my routine. I got home and crashed on the bed within no time. That dream i can never forget. That man's face haunted me even in my sleep. I saw the man grabbing me, his eyes turning red. I saw him tear away my clothes. I managed to get myself out of his grasps and ran as fast as I could, only to be hit by a car. I got whacked out of my sleep, with a bad headache. The rest of my day went by, trying to get a hold of myself and get the man out of my head.

The following night, at work, my headache hindered in my work. In-spite of being grilled by half a dozen colleagues if I was okay, I did not share the incident with them. I thought talking about it would only make it worse. I wanted to forget that it happened and get on with the routine. With great difficulty, I sank myself in my computer screen for hours. My shift ended at 4:30 once again. Only this time, I was too scared to get out all alone. I decided to wait for my colleagues to finish their work. By 5, they called it a day and we marched to the cafe. Their usual conversation and vulgar jokes managed to crack me up and the coffee helped me with my headache. Just when I thought that the worst was over, I looked up through the glass door to find the same man standing across the street, glaring into the cafe. My heart skipped a beat and my panic was out of control. I held the hand of my colleague, sitting next to me, real tight and my eyes were fixated on the man outside. This time I decided to tell my colleagues because I realized that I was being stalked. After listening to me, two of them got up and went outside to look for the man. The others were trying their best to comfort me and calm me down. The two returned with the news that the man had gotten away. But the men managed to scare him which meant that he would not try to approach me again. I hoped.

About a week passed and there was no sign of him. I was convinced that the bad episode was over and that things were back to normal again. My life became steady once again and the routine fell back in place. I got done with work, packed my bags and walked down the stairs. I was dying to be rejuvenated by a cup of coffee. Just as I reached the foot of the building, I saw him again. This time, he was waiting for me at my office. After a small battle in my head, I decided to face him instead of running and hiding. I put my hand in my bag and reached for the pepper spray I had bought after I first saw him. The man, covered in scum, staggered towards me slowly. I was ready for him, ready to put him to ground this time. He was about 2 yards away from me when he put his hand into his pocket and mumbled “this is yours”, and before he could do anything, my fear got the best of me and I emptied the pepper spray can in his face. He shouted and screamed in pain before falling to the ground. In his hand, I saw my silver anklet.

Three years it has been since my life took a 'U' turn. Three years since I last got scared. Three years since a homeless man taught me that fear is the demon.

Knight in Shining Armour

It is the end of the day's work.i walk out of my office and open the umbrella. It has been raining cats and dogs for hours now and to add to the misery,the winds are blowing viciously. ”rickshaw!”,I scream waving my hand,the auto rickshaw stops infront of me. ”ameerpet”, i say,”200” says the rickshaw driver. For a distance that is going to cost me less than a 50 bucks,200 is a loot. I shake my head and send this one away, then the second, then the third,each one demanding more than the previous. The winds are getting harder to bear and the rain doesnt seem to stop any sooner. This umbrella wont hold for longer, i think to myself, i need to get into a taxi as soon as possible or i will be stuck here till the rain subsides. Another rickshaw stops,this one asks for 150. Though i am not very happy giving in,this one has been the cheapest so far. I nod get in and close my umbrella.

Having nothing to do for the next 45 minutes or so, my mind goes back to the lunch date today. My fiance decided to drop by at my office to give me a surprise and took me for lunch. Tall,dark and handsome would be just apt to define him. Though this man is the ideal husband any girl would want, with his chivalry and charm coupled with good looks,i still cannot get myself to fall for him. I have always believed in the concept of “the one”,always opined that arranged marriages are not nearly as blissful as love marriages, yet here i am, waiting to get married to a guy i barely know.

Yes, he is a good man and yes, he will try and keep me happy, but will am i ready to spend the rest of my life with him? I dont know. I have tried time and again to convince myself that everything will be perfect, but i havent been able to bring myself to believe that completely. Though i have not fallen in love ever before, i have always been waiting for the right man. And one day i learn from my parents that there is a marriage proposal waiting for me and the next day i am already engaged to this man.

A jerk of the rickshaw pulls me out of my thoughts. I look outside to see how far the rickshaw has come and i realise that this is not the way to my house. In an apprehensive tone, i ask the driver which route he is taking me in, but i do not get an answer. I ask again and he asks me to shut up and sit down. I begin to scream for help but the road looks deserted. I get to the edge of my seat,having a thought of jumping out of the rickshaw but i cannot gather the courage to do that. I try to fight the man with the umbrella but he is too strong. He turns back and grabs the umbrella from my hand and gives me a blow to my head. Everything goes black after that, i lose my consciousness.

I wake up in incomprehensible agony, in a pool of my own blood, my clothes torn, my head busted open and my vision blur. I had been raped. I try to get myself to stand, but i feel too weak to even do that. I dont know where i am, i dont even know if i am still alive.

I see someone trying to lift my head. ”what is your name”, ”where are you from”, the man asks, but before i could say anything, i lose my consciousness again.

I open my eyes and find myself in a hospital room, my parents sitting infront of me, their heads buried in their hands and crying for me. I get myself up slowly, still in pain. My mother hugs me as tightly as she can, still crying.”I am so glad you are okay “, she says. But i wasnt okay. I just lost my life.nobody will respect me anymore.people will only look upon me with disgust.i have now become more or less a burden to my parents, i think to myself.

The doctor walks into the room, checks my pulse ,examines the wounds and tells me that i am going to be alright and that i am going to visited by a medical counsellor soon. But a counsellor cannot give me my life back, cannot give back what that demon took away from me.

I am too numb to say anything to a anyone, i simply eat and take my pills and stare at the walls and fall asleep while at it.

I feel a kiss on my head. I open my eyes slowly to see my fiance before me. I wake up quickly n get myself to sit. He sits down before me holding my hands,without saying a word,looking into my eyes

I cannot help the tears that roll down my cheek. I look back into his eyes and it makes me feel alive again.

I realise that i just found my knight in shining armour.